Who’s your zonkey?

Newly licensed AD continues to press her daddy for a zonkey. This campaign commenced about a week ago, and it includes ample doses of unadulterated cuteness:

One, of course, should not confuse the zonkey (zebra stallion/donkey mare) with the zorse (zebra stallion/horse mare):

So, how much would it cost to buy a zonkey? Well, the owner of “Assay” claims that the trained one-year-old zonkey is “a steal at $3900! [sic]” Perhaps. Perhaps.

The real cost in these creatures, though, comes in the boarding. AD and SD’s horse Magic, a registered Tennessee Walking Horse with a slobber problem, runs $240 a month, with periodical necessities such as the farrier ($25 a pop), vaccinations (a cool $100), and incidentals (grooming supplies, wormer, etc.) I won’t even mention the blood test to see if both of the theoretical gelding’s testicles were truly snipped,  a test required after the barn owner spotted Magic pitching woo with his sexy stable mate (Mr. Wannabe Stud [the horse, not the barn owner] currently resides solo): full penetration, apparently, as Mr. Wannabe Stud (the barn owner, not the horse) told my then fifteen-year-old daughters with a relish bordering on the creepy. The $200 blood test was “inconclusive,” and the vet “recommended” another, more expensive, test to “verify” the first one. Get used to living alone, Magic.

So, mean old dad told bright eyes that she certainly could have a zonkey if she sold her car and got fitted for some sweet new threads at Culver’s or Burger King so that she could keep her zonkey rolling in oats and hay and ambiguous medical tests. She’d certainly look cute riding little Baba Looey to school, but I’m guessing that cuteness won’t trump the utilitarian blandness of a certain silver Honda Civic parked in a certain driveway. Now, if she had asked for a zorse, I totally would have complied: exponentially cuter and surely worth a second job at the compost plant.

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~ by Moldorf on March 1, 2010.

6 Responses to “Who’s your zonkey?”

  1. Wouldn’t a zonkey be infertile, like a mule? I seem to remember an old Bio prof. telling me that if interspecial reproduction takes place, the offspring is always infertile. So why the need for the snip check?

    P.S.: Stop being such a mean old dad.

  2. Yep–zonkeys are infertile; however, the test was for Magic, the girls’ horse. Ana’s simply looking to upgrade her menagerie with a zonkey (she’s also periodically requested another horse).

  3. AH! Gotcha. Wait — there’s already a horse? Do you know that one of my must-dos in life is to ride a horse? Perhaps AD should start charging people to ride her horse. She might save enough to buy a zonkey and keep the Civic.

    (Now that I’ve reread, this all makes perfect sense. Somehow, I was thinking Magic was a Zonkey.)

  4. I saw a zonkey at the carnival and he was sweet

  5. I lika da animal

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